Important moments in motherhood

From the moment of conception of your first child, people begin telling you about the days that will be the most important of your life from that moment forward. There is the day of birth itself. Many people would put that day up there. Indeed it is no small task to produce a 7lb human being from unmentionable body parts. I have done it twice, and would say that it is a significant accomplishment. However, I'm not sure if that was the most important day in my life, or even the most important day in my life relative to a new life.

I think mothering is about a series of events, each one important and significant in it's own right. Growing a baby into a fully functional human being is an ongoing process of important moments that build upon important moments. As a mother it's my job to live the most important day of my life over and over again as I take on the awesome responsibility of shaping the future as represented in my offspring.

Some days it is hard to look at the charming little tear streaked faces that have spent all day not listening to the wisdom of their loving mother only to find themselves with endless bumps and bruises from all the accidents they could have avoided if they had heeded warnings. The frustration of all the tasks that could have been accomplished if only they'd heard your instructions rests heavily on their shoulders. And as their mother you wonder how on earth you make a difference on days like this.

But every once in a while there comes a moment when you think "this is what it's about". Recently I had a moment like that in the most unlikely circumstances. After a long day at work, I took my girls out for the ultimate parenting sin: fast food. Their dad was states away and I was exhausted. It was kids night at a local fast food chain and we were going if it killed us all (and at moments I feared it might). It was balloon artist night. I made sure to grab seats near where said artist was lavishing attention on cute college age girls, having learned from last time that if you sit near the kids you might not get a visit before it's bedtime and this leads to screaming children who think you are the very meanest person on the face of the earth.

Fortunately the artist of the night must have been lectured on the point of kids night and after we sat down, he excused himself from the company of those young ladies and turned his attention to mine. He was young, and not so bad at his balloon art trade. He wowed my oldest with his butterfly sculpting skills, and then as he was shaping a yellow flower for my youngest, he made small talk. "What do you want to be when you grow up?" He asked my oldest "Cinderella at Disney" was her instant (and usual) reply.

Then he turned to my baby. Now this is always an iffy prospect. She might respond, or not. She might cry, bury her head in my arm, put her paci in her mouth, who knows! But I was interested in hearing what she had to say. I watched as he asked her "And what do you want to do when you grow up?" Her eyes lit up and she said without hesitation and with joy and certainty "A mommy!" And my heart was filled with a joy more powerful than I describe.

Day in and day out my one hope is that my children feel loved and supported. Through the struggles of parenting I strive to let the last words they hear from my mouth at the end of the day be words of love. That they know I love them is one of the most important things for me. And in this one moment she let me know that she not only knows that, but she wants to do my work too. I know it wasn't her intention, but in that moment she told me that I am doing okay.

For now I'm going to treasure that day as the most important day of my life. One of the 2 little people who are most qualified to judge my mothering skills gave me an A that day. She probably will never remember or think about that moment again. 10 years from now she might have different career aspirations. But in that moment she made days, weeks, months worth of challenges melt away and left only hope and love. And I will forever remember that my baby wanted first of all to be a mommy.