All things work for good

"all things work together for good for those who love God" Romans 8:28

Several months ago, I found myself in the midst of a full blown crisis. My husband was in the hospital. His prognosis was unknown. His recovery time unclear. I was at home, not sleeping with all the anxiety, trying desperately to hold it together for my girls, failing at memorable moments. I was inclined to scream at God, and ask why He was doing this to us. However, I found instead this passage continually coming to mind.

How could this possibly work for good? How could God redeem this situation? How could it be a part of His good plan? I'm sure most people would wonder the same faced with a similar crisis. And yet the thought persisted in me, and I had no choice but to give in to it. All things work together for good...even though it seemed as though we were tied to an enemy, even though recovery seemed much too far off, even though I was living my worst nightmare, I couldn't let go of the thought. I had the sense that some day, I might understand how this applied to what I was living. Someday I might look back with a smile and see how perfect God's plan had been all along. Someday I would know why I had to live through the pain and the sorrow, and I imagined that someday would be a couple decades or more into the future, when the distance between my life then and what I was going through in the present was great enough that it didn't sting to recall the pain anymore.

But I was wrong. Here I am eight months later seeing the good unfold before my eyes. I am blessed in so many ways. For one thing, God didn't let me give up. Comfort was all around me, and He sent messages of hope through those who didn't even know what they were giving me. He lifted me up and carried me along a difficult path that has led to abundant blessings.

I am now living about as close to my dream as I could have imagined. I can walk to work. I like my work. I work with nice people, and they seem to like me. And my husband is doing much better. Though he won't return to his former job, he has a new opportunity that he can also walk to. We're living our urban lifestyle dream. We only need the car for family outings, everything else can be done on foot or by bike. How amazing is that?! A crisis helped us align our lifestyle with our ideals.

There is a deep sense of satisfaction that comes with seeing God's blessings through hardship. I was walking home from work the other day when it hit me like a wave that I had held onto Romans 8:28 for weeks in darkness, and now I was experiencing its truth in the light.